Log in

10 July 2008 @ 01:17 am
I lie  

Title: I lie
Author: baby_girl_222
Pairing: Mavid of the Archie-Johns variety
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael Johns writes to the boy he should be in love with, but is anyway.
Authors note: This is my first post here so i hope you all  like it.

Dear Archie,

            How do I tell you, I love you? How can I show theses feelings? These feelings of fear, sadness, and anger are hidden behind this mask, impenetrable. How do I show you that I love you?

            Cold emotions, anger and hate is all I can show. How do I show that I love you? Tell me how. I need to show you. I need to tell you. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. If this is true, why does it hurt so much? Why do I cry at night when no one is around?

            I lie to myself, you know? I say I don’t love you. I say I don’t care. I do, I love you more than anything in the world. I care about you more then I care about anything else.

            When you get hurt, I cry when no one was around to hear. Why don’t I help you? Why do I constantly lie to myself? Why do I fear to show my emotions? I say it’s a weakness; it’s not and never will be.

            It’s the fear of hate and rejection; it’s more than that, whenever you please. I would leave too; I would fear and hate me too. How could you not? I ruined your life. I tormented you every chance I got, because I was afraid.

            I was afraid to even care about you. Afraid, that’s my emotion I need to show most, fear. I love you David Archuleta. I love you more then I love my wife. I don’t love her as anything more then a sister. It is you that I love, and I can lie no longer.



Michael Johns